Still grieving...but thinking

This has been an emotional week for me. I wear my emotions on my sleeves anyway, and everything I feel shows on my face, so I’ve not been smiling a lot this week. The sudden loss of my friend has truly saddened me. He had so many things he still wanted to accomplish, so many dreams left unfulfilled.

His death has made me think. He was at home. His children were sleeping 20 feet away. His wife was at work. There was no other adult around, who knew him, who could speak rationally with the authorities; as naturally, his children were too upset.

None of us know the time we will go to meet our maker. Losing my friend has made me take a closer look at myself and my life, and I’ve come to realize that I’m not as prepared as I would like to be, to meet my maker. Because, let’s face it, once we’re gone, it's not about us anymore. It’s about the loved ones we leave behind.

Being a single mom, I need to have some things in place, to ensure my children know what to do, who to contact, where important papers are, etc. I’m not talking about a Will, although it’s probably good to have one. I’m talking about a single sheet of paper which lists my full name, social security number, and date of birth. My boys would be too frantic to think about looking in my purse for my driver’s license. On that sheet of paper, I’d include phone numbers, for people they could call, to help them through the crisis. Family members; my sister, my best friend, and I would like to add, my Pastor. But, that is another agenda item I need to secure, as I am still looking for a Church home.

I’d include things like: what funeral home I’d like them to use; what I’d like to be buried in, the type of flowers I’d like draped over my casket, the color of my casket, which cemetery I’d like to lay in, and of course, insurance policy information. Nothing complicated, just little things that would make planning my funeral easier on my boys. And, when I think they're ready, I'll tell each one of them where the paper is located.

I don’t think any of us want to plan a funeral. That would mean someone we love has gone on. I remember when my Mom was alive, she would try to tell me these things, but I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to think about losing my mother. I didn’t want to talk about her leaving me. But she did. And some of the things she said had managed to creep into my subconscious.

I don't want this to sound morbid, or like I plan on dying tomorrow. In fact, I'd like to live another fifty years. But, inevitably, that day is going to come. All I want to do, is make it easier for the ones I leave behind.

That's it for now, Bloggers. Stay Blessed and happy.

VEM